Why Do Toddlers Bite?
There are a few main reasons a toddler bites. The first is that they are exploring their world. We know babies put everything in their mouths to explore. Toddler do this less, so when a 2 year old bites, it can seem out of the blue, yet they are often just seeing how soft, hard, rubbery, sticky, something is in their mouth.
They are also exploring what happens when they bite, out of curiosity. How does a friend react? How does mom react? Toddlers spend their day exploring how they impact others around them. What are the reactions I get from people when I bite, hit, smile, laugh, dance, keep touching something after mom says No, and so on…
When toddlers bite because they are curious, it’s best that they find out an honest reaction from caregivers or friends. If a parent is trying to keep them from feeling bad, and reacts by smiling, the toddler gets an inauthentic response and knows it. He will keep doing it because he feels mom is angry and gets a smile, so he is confused.
If the biting is new, then get a toy ok for her to bite and tell her, “It’s ok to bite this, not ok to bite me.” If it happens more than a few times in a week, it’s not just exploration anymore.
The second usual cause is that they feel angry or frustrated. Toddlers will bite to act out their anger. It happens for example when another child takes a toy he wanted, when a parent says no to a treat, when he is over tired or hungry and can’t yet express it appropriately. The frustration builds and a bite happens. Make sure to help prevent biting by intervening before it happens. When your child is in a biting phase, look to see when they usually bite and when the trigger happens, get close and reflect to him, “You wanted that toy and your friend took it, you seem angry. You wanted that toy.” Simple reflection helps them understand their emotion.
The third reason toddlers bite is it’s a game. Toddlers love games. When they get a big reaction from a caregiver or big person after biting, then they will want to see if they can get another big reaction. They are especially curious about reactions from big people because adults are a little bit intimidating and odd to the little toddler. So, it’s best to give an honest reaction to the biting, but keep it simple.
Repeated biting, hitting, anything that causes harm should be considered a limit or boundary the toddler shouldn’t cross. Whatever you have established as your “you’ve crossed a limit” routine to give the message that it’s not ok, should be implemented. It’s important to calmly let your child know you are the leader and they can count on you to help them understand what’s ok and what’s not and to set limits so he can feel safe knowing you won’t let him do harm to others.
Next read my post on how to stop toddlers from biting.
