The 4 Biggest Misconceptions On Mother’s Intuition Cleared Up
There are so many ideas on “Mother’s Intuition.” I have found it’s important to know what it IS NOT to really be able to develop and practice on honing in on the essence of what IT IS. Read my post on Mother’s Intuition
The 4 Biggest Misconceptions:
1. It is not your thoughts or feelings about something transferred on to your child. This is a common mistake. It’ll happen. We mothers are human and intuition on what our child needs will get confused with our needs.
It’s ok! It’s important to have the intention that you are tuning into your child’s needs and not “laying your trip” on him, as a wise Buddhist teacher, Trungpa Rinpoche, says. You might fear your child starting preschool and being away from home/mom, so your feeling would be fear about her going. Your intuitive knowing comes from tuning into your child and seeing that she loves playing with other children and seems bored at home- that’s tuning into her needs and not stopping at your feeling of fear about her.
Your intuition is a knowing about your child, this is beyond just your feelings about your child. Your feeling might be anger when your child starts screaming after you give him the red cup instead of the blue cup. The intuitive knowing will give you information on what is driving your child’s screaming about the cup (because it’s not the cup, there is something bigger going on, maybe she’s over tired/hungry and when you listen deeper to her by tuning into your child in that moment, you’ll get more of an intuitive knowing on the bigger picture if it’s hunger/fatigue/etc.)
2. It is not something to develop to try to keep your child happy all the time. I often try listen deeply to understand why my son is grumpy or fussy and attend to the needs I intuitively know are driving the fussiness. Though, I remind myself that it’s so very important for him to be fussy and frustrated at times. Especially when he is learning new things.
My intuition might tell me he is sitting on the floor crying because he can’t find a toy he wants and I might even have a good idea about which toy. He is mobile and can try to find it. It’s not my job to use my intuition to keep him from learning and exploring. By allowing his frustration, I’m allowing his learning. And oh my goodness is it important for boys to learn to find things on their own, so they aren’t men asking their wives to help them find the bread that is in front of them in the refrigerator.
3. It’s not foolproof, nor should you think once you are intuitive enough you’ll be the perfect parent. I have thousands of hours clocked on developing my intuition from listening to babies, kids, teenagers, my adult intuitive counseling clients and at times I still have no idea why my dog is licking her paw continually, or why my child is fussy when he’s well slept, full, has a dry diaper, not cold…
4. It doesn’t always produce good feelings in you. When you have developed a strong intuitive knowing with your kid(s), it doesn’t mean it will help you always feel good or peaceful. It might mean your intuition tells you that he doesn’t really need another drink of milk before bed but is actually trying to stall going to sleep. So, your intuition says to say no and keep the bedtime routine happening. You feel more frustrated with his little tantrum about it, but know letting him push limits isn’t helpful in the long run.
Also for example, my intuitive knowing told me that my super social son needed more stimulation from other people during the day when he was 11 months old. We had spent most of 6 days a week together since he was born, with a nanny and my husband filling in the other day+. His first days in daycare, I was sad about the big change. For weeks, I questioned if it was the right place for him and if he was ready. I didn’t love the change and it didn’t make me feel blissed out, but I trusted that this was best for him, for me. I trusted that even if my intuition was wrong and daycare wasn’t the best for him, that he’d be fine overall because he was learning wonderful things by being with other people and kids.
Your intuition, balanced with reasoning and listening, will tell when something is really wrong or off. Don’t sweat the small stuff and don’t try to develop your intuition to listen to every need or want. Your intuition is a gift and with practice and trust, it will be a great blessing to you and your family on the important things that really matter.
