Nevada Will End- Reflections on Postpartum
The early months of motherhood, at times, can feel like driving through the brown, flat, dry parts of Nevada. It can be a lonely, monotonous, and narcolepsy inducing journey.
In Nevada, the roads stretches out endlessly and there can be no one around for miles. I sometimes feel like the hours of work driving down the road have gotten me nowhere. To me, the landscape can be depressing to say the least.
At a number of points as a new mother, I experienced this depression and feelings of isolation. Feed, burp, carry, change diapers and try to decipher the various cries of sleep, hunger, pain, repeat. 
The lack of sleep and general stress of integrating this new way of life didn’t do me any favors. I went from an entrepreneur able to chart my days and weeks in any way I pleased, to being tied to this amazing, beautiful, precious, confusing baby.
I’d known the boredom and complete fullness of caring for a baby in the many infants I had cared for as a nanny. I also knew how the time could move like molasses.
Yet, just because I knew it wouldn’t be all smiles and boundless joy didn’t make it all better. Just like knowing Nevada will be long, dry, desolate, never helps with the challenge of driving through the endless miles.
What does help to get through Nevada? Knowing it will end and California awaits. I know if I keep driving, I will arrive in the beautiful mountains of the Tahoe area, and finally at the ocean.
Knowing that the Nevada phase of motherhood would end helped keep me sane. Knowing that I would return to a sense of myself outside of a sleep deprived, feeding, diapering, burping machine, was important.
It’s hard in the early months. And, as everyone says, after celebrating my child’s first birthday I was shocked at how quickly it all passed.
For me, California was my son sleeping through the night, finding balance and regaining a sense of self through developing my own interests outside of parenting.
Blessings to you if you are in the driving through Nevada phase of parenting. The ever changing adventure of motherhood will have a new flavor soon. If you feel you need some support, please reach out. I’d be delighted to offer my insights in helping you get to California.
May you find joy and ease in the motherhood adventure with increase everyday.
